How to Handle Bad Customer Reviews Professionally

Hello everyone, and welcome to The Skin Wellness Pro Show, the official podcast of the Nutritional Aesthetics® Alliance. I am Rachael Pontillo, President and Co-founder of the Nutritional Aesthetics Alliance, and I want to say hello to our co-host, Tara Swagger, our Education Specialist. Hey Tara.

Hi. Glad to be here. Excited for another podcast.

Rachael Pontillo: 

Okay. We have to talk about something that I think is one of my biggest pet peeves on social media, whether it’s just on Instagram or in a Facebook group. And it’s something that has been bothering me for years now to the point that we did an NAA File Card on it in the NAA File Card Library (available exclusively to CNAP students and lifetime NAA Members) about best practices on social media, and how to behave professionally in certain situations. But you brought up a story of something that you saw, and when I heard that, I was like, ‘oh, no, she didn’t!’ And I’ve seen it happen frequently too. So why don’t you kind of rehash what happened, what you saw, and then we’ll dig into why we were both triggered by this as professionals, and how this person may have handled that situation more professionally.

Yeah. So being a professional in this industry for this amount of time, certainly, over the last 15 years, we have a very different mode of discussion with our audience as professionals, and it’s changed the face of the way things look. Before, in our industry, if like someone had an issue with an unhappy client, it could be damaging to your reputation, but it might have been less splashy than today.

Rachael Pontillo:

It would’ve been like more word of mouth.

Tara Swagger:

Right. And those things are gonna happen. It really doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in the industry, how amazing you are, how professional you are–it’s kind of a numbers game where people have experiences, and maybe their expectations weren’t met, or maybe they just set this parameter that that wasn’t how you were going to perform the service.

I’ve seen this topic discussed a million times in social media groups with other professionals. Unfortunately, some of the advice I see in those groups is cringeworthy.  But I think in general, people are trying, doing their best, and working really hard. Things can set you off, you know, they can really turn you on your heel, right? So for me, when I see this these types of issues, it’s an energetic thing, right?

I think that, for the most part, when people’s energy gets turned by a circumstance with an unhappy client, it can leave you spinning and railing.  Hopefully, if we can converse about this a little bit more, we can find pathways to help support people through these things, right? But this particular one–I can’t remember all the specifics about it–but I happened to see an Instagram video, and I’m really not that familiar with who this person is. So the video comes up, and she says, ‘I want to talk about something very serious.’ And I’m like, ‘Ooh, what’s going on?’ Right? Not thinking that it was something industry-focused. And she begins to talk about this very destructive circumstance she’s having with this client and starts revealing a lot of information.

She starts talking about borderline medical information about the client that was shared with her as a professional. So when I hear this, I think, ‘oh my goodness, this is not good.’ It doesn’t matter what the client did or didn’t do. I’m listening to this and thinking, I don’t ever want any of my clients to think that if there’s some issue or maybe it’s not working out between a client and me, that I would ever, ever discuss anything that was told to me as a professional.

Obviously in any circumstance, if you’re a professional, someone fills out a consultation or intake form, none of that information belongs to anyone else in any manner whatsoever. Right? This also applies to what a client might share with you when you’re discussing their personal life or anything else in the treatment room. And while we (as aestheticians) don’t have a legal obligation to HIPAA, we should also carry ourselves as professionals in a way that protects important private information, right? So the woman starts to discuss a few of these topics, and she’s mad because of X, Y, and Z, and I can’t even tell you what the disappointment was in the service because I was so distracted by this, this situation.

And then I thought, well, who is this woman? What is this page? So I look at her profile, and then realize there’s a three-part series there discussing this situation. So instantly, I’m like, oh my God, I can’t believe this is being discussed. I’m looking through her page, and everything else looks really great and professional, and she seems like a very successful person. And quite honestly, I think this is why this topic is important because it shows that these things can affect us all. A client that leaves disappointed with their service, for whatever reason–none of it could even have to do with you. And a lot of that sucks because we can’t necessarily control that. To some degree maybe we can, if we can see the client’s having some issues, and we can help hone them in and help let them leave in a better state than what they came in. But that’s not necessarily something we’re always gonna control.

And that’s also not on us. That’s not our job.

Yeah. So, you know, bad reviews, whatever. This woman obviously felt very pulled off of her game. This is why I say this is an energy thing, right? Because we’re being pulled into the fear response about what is happening with this client. Instead of being able to step outside and say, “I have 600 clients, all wonderful clients, all very happy. I have this one person that’s struggling and is disappointed with this service…” Focusing on and giving power to that one person is pulling us away from all of the wonderful things that we have in our business or what we’re providing. I think that’s kind of what’s important to discuss because, you know, energetically, we have to work harder at finding a pathway to either release this fear or negative situation that you might have, and not do it on your social media.

It makes me feel like this behavior represents all aestheticians or all nutritional workers. And that’s not the case. It also makes me feel really sad that someone had that experience and then spiraled into a space that they probably aren’t used to being in. And so I just think it’s important to talk about professionalism and how we’re portraying ourselves as professionals, and what is okay and what is not. It’s not okay for clients to leave, and demand they get all their money back. It’s not right for that stuff to necessarily happen to you. Sure. But it does. It does.

It’s like the old cliche of ‘the customer is always right.’ You and I, both, I’m sure have had instances over the many, many years we’ve been in this industry. Before I was in this industry, I was in sales, I was in retail, and I can tell you for sure that there are many instances where the customer is wrong. But if you want the customer to come back, if you want the customer to refer you, if you want other customers to be attracted to wanting to work with you or shop from you, then yes, the customer is always right.

And as the professional, as the business owner, or the brand owner, or the practice owner, you are the one who is asking for people to give you money to serve them. Right? So if I was a client of this person, and the video series or whatever wasn’t about me, but if I was a client of hers, and I saw that on her social media, because there’s a good chance that if I were her client, I would be following her on Instagram, right? If I saw her ranting and calling out another client for leaving a bad review after she had had a bad experience or whatever, I would be terrified. I would feel like I was walking on eggshells the next time I went for my treatment. I would be like, ‘I, I, I don’t wanna piss you off or anything. How are you today? Is everything okay? All right, good. I’m just gonna lay here.’ That’s not, that’s not a really great experience at all.

So that energy that she put out, while she felt that she was sticking it to this client who, like, ‘I’ll show you to leave me a bad review online’ or whatever, but she may really at the same time, have screwed herself when it comes to her other clients who may have seen that and are thinking, ‘oh crap, what if I piss her off? What if I say something and she does the same thing to me? I don’t wanna be called out on social media.’ That is a huge risk in general.

Well, it’s an act of fear and desperation. I think that sadly, like what I gathered at the end of it too, was that I felt bad for her. Like, that’s a really, really crappy situation. But we can’t allow that energy to pull us into this place where we’re creating this pathway to feed it. Because when you feed into the fear and you feed into the desperation, that gets worse. And just like you said, like, those are unintentional consequences that are going to happen. And I think it’s an important reminder that you don’t have to work with every client that walks through the door.

Right? Not everybody is a fit. And that’s one of the reasons why we feel that the Nutritional Aesthetics Alliance, that such a detailed intake is necessary, because you’re not going to be for everyone, and not everyone is going to be for you. And that’s fine.

One of the beautiful things about competition is that people are not necessarily competing with each other for the same clients because not everybody is going to be everybody’s cup of tea. There have been instances where I’ve started working with clients or done an intake, and it’s been clear to me that we’re not the right fit to work together. And that’s okay. It’s not personal. There are no hard feelings. And luckily, I have a lot of wonderful colleagues in my network that I can refer people to, especially because if I know my colleagues’ personalities and I know the personality of the person that I just did the intake with, in my head by before we even get off that call, I’m thinking, you know what? This person would be a great fit for so-and-so colleague. And then I do that introduction, and usually, everybody appreciates it. The colleague appreciates the referral, and the client appreciates the honesty because even if I’m not the right person to serve them long term, I’ve still helped them by giving them the referral to somebody who might be a better fit for them, personality-wise, energy-wise, scope-of-practice-wise, structure of how they work. There are so many reasons.

I think that’s why it’s important. And I think that people who are newer in the business are going to have different feelings around what they want to accept and what they don’t want to accept. And part of that’s learning, you know? For me and my practice, there are things I don’t do anymore because I don’t think they’re a right fit for me. And yes, if you know someone else they can be referred to, then that’s great. If you’re new in the practice, I think it’s a different package because you are going to probably take clients that you’re probably not as keen as to what’s a right fit, right? Like, I’m certain I could think back to the beginning of my career and having some clients that weren’t a right fit.

But you learn what the right fit is when you’re starting to have issues with people or they’re not causing you energetic distress or an energetic deficit. What I mean by that is, if you have clients coming in and you’re working with them, but they’re not listening to you, or they’re not respecting you as a professional. And when you’re young, I think you might not have the same confidence in what you’re delivering. So maybe you take some of that on.

I can remember a time when I had a client that came in, and I could tell right away that she was going to tell me what kind of facial I was going to give her, right? And even at that point in my career, I knew that this wasn’t a person I wanted to work with. She explained to me how she’s had facials all over the world, so ‘this is what you’re gonna give me, or this is what you’re gonna do for the treatment.’ And first of all, what she rattled off isn’t anything I would’ve given her because I could tell by her skin these were not appropriate treatments for her. And before I even got her into the bed, I said, ‘you know those aren’t things that I do or that I think are going to be right for you. So I just started to open the door to leave the treatment room, and I said, ‘I just don’t think that I’m probably the right aesthetician for you.’ And I just walked her up to the desk, and I think I said ‘no charge for today, and I’m certain you’ll find who you want to work with, and, nice to meet you, have a great day.’

And the shock on her face was great, because I remember my front desk staff being like, ‘I can’t believe you did that.’ She ended up leaving and she didn’t come back. But I was at a place in my career where I wasn’t going to have someone tell me what to do on their skin, if it’s not right for them. I’m the professional.

Now, when you’re younger and you have a client like that, you may not realize it until you have a few experiences with them. But if you have a few experiences with a client that’s telling you what to do, or who’s trying to pressure you into treatments that you don’t believe are correct for their skin; then you’ll start to have an experience where then you say, ‘you know what? This is a person that’s energetically depleting me. This is giving me a net negative.’

You shouldn’t be nervous when you go to see your client. So if you see them in your schedule and you’re feeling anxious, then you need to find a way to exit from that client. Now, I’m not saying that’s easy to do. I mean, it’s easy for me to do. I don’t have any issues with that, but I’ve also been doing this for a while. But I think that it’s valuable for people to understand that you don’t have to fit in with everybody.

If you’re listening to this podcast and you start to be like, ‘yeah, that is true. I have that client. I’m sick of it. Every time they come in, I’m having anxiety…’ that is not what we’re supposed to be doing. So find a pathway to release them from you in some way. Hopefully, you can find it to be a professional breakup in a way. But certainly, as you get older and you have an experience where somebody is leaving you a bad review, again, don’t feed the energy. You need to be able to say, ‘this doesn’t represent me or my business, but I can’t control this person.’ And stay in your space of growth and light so that, hopefully, your response is, ‘I’m so sorry.’ You know, send that person healthy, energetic light so you can release them from you and then make room for who you DO want to work with.

Because otherwise, you’re just attracting the negative and the fear; and you’re then displacing it on all these clients you already have who’ve heard you talk about this person. And I don’t think this woman’s intention was any of those things, but it’s what happens. I also think that no dollar amount’s worth the client energetically depleting you either.

I’m not gonna get into whether you should or shouldn’t return or refund money, but I think that differs. When people value that dollar so desperately that they’re willing to stay in the energetic loop of negativity, those dollars are not amounting to more than what you’re losing by keeping that client. So I think you have to take a deep look at that for yourself.

But you might get bad customer reviews. It’s just part of doing business. If you don’t have a type of business model where you’re getting reviews, but maybe you’re getting things like trolls online–people who are trolling your comments and putting nasty stuff that happened, people who are leaving nasty blog post blog comments, or YouTube comments, that happens. And, I will say, knock on wood, I’ve been fortunate that over the, gosh, it’s almost 13 years that I’ve been online, that I’ve had the blog, and that I’ve been on social media for business–I can count less than one handful of times that I’ve had negative experiences, negative reviews, bad client experiences, or trolls.

You have to be able to decipher whether or not it’s constructive. Because if somebody leaves a review or a comment that is constructive and specific, like, ‘I didn’t enjoy this experience because I don’t feel I got what was advertised….I don’t feel my expectations were met because X, Y, Z… I don’t feel my personality and the practitioner’s personality we’re the right fit…’ If it’s something that is worded in a way that is helpful for you to improve, then I think it’s a good idea to let that review or comment stay on your website or on whatever platform it is, and then respond to it professionally.

I think that the opportunity to show professionalism in how you respond to a bad review or a troll is something that everybody should take seriously. And I think that as you get more experienced, your impulse control grows a little bit. But when you’re first getting started and somebody writes something nasty, and you’re like, ‘oh my God, how dare she, what, who does she think she is?’ And then you might type a nasty response, or create a video where you take a screenshot and post it in your stories and tag them. I’m not big on the whole call-out culture thing.

That’s not how I like to present myself online. I also don’t see it as being all that effective. But responding professionally, responding ethically, responding gracefully–I think there’s a lot of value in that because it can help diffuse whatever anger or disappointment that that client or that person was feeling. And then when they respond back, they might be like, ‘oh my gosh, okay. You know, thank you so much for addressing that.’ And then whoever is reading that in the future can see that exchange, and they can see how you handled yourself professionally. And then maybe they responded in a way that was a little bit less inflammatory. And I’ve had that happen. I’ve had blog comments from people who got mad at me about something like parabens, for example, and I had to like, take many, many deep breaths to calm myself down before I responded.

And then I’d respond, and type the response, and then edit it multiple times to make sure that it was, again, constructive and professional. Like I said, it hasn’t happened a lot, but there have definitely been times, and that’s when you are in business and when you are online, that you will encounter this. So I want to encourage anyone afraid of receiving bad reviews, or afraid of dealing with negative commenters online. that if it is constructive and something that you can grow from or improve, take the time to really process it. Let that initial sting, that raw feeling pass, take a breath, and then sit with it and be like, ‘okay, what is this person actually saying? Are they just ranting because they were in a bad mood and they were just hell-bent on having a bad experience and they’re just taking me with them?’

You could just say ‘I’m sorry that happened. Good luck to you.’ You know, peace out, God bless, whatever. But if the person is genuinely trying to communicate that they were disappointed by what you offered because they were expecting something different based on what you put out there, well, then that’s something that, as a professional, you need to know. After all, you don’t want that to happen again. So then you should respond back and ask for specifics and say, ‘How can I have made that what you were expecting? What would you have liked to have seen communicated about the service differently so that it would’ve been clearer for you?’ These are ways that we can grow as professionals.

When it comes to outright trolls–people who are just nasty for the sake of being nasty–there’s something called the block button on social media. That’s a beautiful thing. And if it’s not somebody who is a customer, or who you care if they come back or whatever, if it’s legitimately just some nasty person who’s in a bad mood, you can block them. You don’t owe anybody anything unless you’re in a customer relationship. Period. And you don’t have to feel bad about blocking them. It’s really okay.

I think that it’s important that people know that, at different stages of your career, you’re going to make different choices about what you’re willing to deal with. Always know that if you keep making space for someone who is not treating you well, or who making you feel anxious because they bring in, maybe a demeaning attitude or a belittling attitude; if you make space for that, then you don’t have space for the client that wants to give you the opposite of that. And I think it’s really important to know that.

During a good portion of my career, my space was either rented at a hair salon or adjacent to that. I have seen clients say terrible things to their practitioners, and the practitioners take it. And I have let clients go because of the way they treated my staff. I’ve never had room for that kind of energy in my business or my life. If you talk down to my staff, I’m just not sure you’re a good fit for my space. I was confident to do that, but I think that people should hear at least once that they don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve to have trolls around, but they’re gonna be there.

So, make your choice to not give energy to that. Use the block button. You can also remove negative things from your social media feed. If something comes up in your social media that you think is negative, and is not something you wanna keep seeing, unfollow it. Because you should only create space for stuff that’s giving to you and feeding you. You have to protect yourself, you know? And, and I think that’s a learning experience for some. Always know that none of that is a requirement of these positions. You know? It’s not.

We can control who’s booked on our schedule. It’s your schedule. You can take control of that. If you work for somebody, sometimes there are inevitable scheduling circumstances. If that’s the case, then decide what you’re going to do to protect your energy and create your boundaries so that you don’t get pulled into some negative correspondence with somebody.

While it’s easier said than done sometimes to smile and wave, do it anyway. At the end of the day, the person that was making that video trilogy about this person–and obviously it was upsetting to them, and I agree the circumstance was very, probably very jarring and upsetting. It’s hard to imagine that if you spend that much time focusing on how negative and feeling the need to protect yourself or fearing backlash, all those negative things have now taken away days of your life. At the end of it all, I, I wonder if you look back and, and that person says, geez, I really wish I didn’t spin in that direction.  So maybe you need to do a little reading or, or find somebody in your area that you can work with for some energy healing and say, ‘look, I, I need to learn how to hold a boundary or protect myself so that I’m not attracting or entangling too much with some things that I can’t control.’

If you’re in a business where you can’t control who’s on your books, you don’t have to live like that. And certainly, as a professional, I do not want to see other professionals behaving in an inflammatory way online, because it makes us all look a little questionable in a sense. You know, like, ‘is that what people do if you see them?’

Right. It’s like, if I’m gonna go get a facial, I saw that this person who did a three-video series to call out somebody who had a bad experience, am I going to experience that too? I think especially when we’re working in aesthetics and skin wellness, that’s a vulnerable position for a client to be in. If you’re getting a facial or getting a massage, you’re literally  naked under the sheets.

It’s a trusting scenario. And if you’re in those positions and you are with your therapist, you probably say things, people tell me things all the time. I never discuss a client with anybody. Even when I have clients that know each other. Even if they were in, I don’t say ‘I saw Joanne the other day. She came in for a facial.’ I don’t tell them that. Joanne doesn’t necessarily want everybody to know how many facials she’s getting! That’s not anyone’s business.

I also don’t tell anybody who’s a client of mine. I think that’s because–and I believe truly that ultimately when people stay very committed to you, it’s because they have built a lot of major trust. And you’re not going to have trust from clients you’ve been seeing or new ones that you’re going to get if you have any videos on your Instagram page or anywhere else where you’re talking about other clients. It’s just bad, negative energy. And you know, it’s not going to give you the result you think, because ultimately in the end, I’m certain she doesn’t feel better or more confident about the scenario.

I don’t think it got her any new clients. I don’t think it benefited her in any way. Maybe she might have gotten some other people who were like, ‘oh my God, I can’t believe that happened. That sucks for you!’ But that didn’t fix the problem. And I can guarantee it probably scared away other current clients, and potentially deterred potential clients.

And the poor lady is still left with dealing with this negative energy that she now has to figure out. So had she just at least focused on how to figure that out first, she probably could have missed the days of spinning out and doing probably all the wrong things professionally that could negatively affect her business.

Yeah. So if you’re someone who finds yourself in this situation frequently with unhappy customers or customers that you feel drain you energetically, or that you’re just not looking forward to seeing, like, you look at your schedule for the day and you’re like, ‘oh my God, seriously?’ So what do you do if that’s you?

These are times that it’s a good opportunity to pause and look at why you might be attracting these clients that are just not the right fit for you. Is it something that you’re putting out energetically like we’ve been talking about? Do you put out this energy that’s maybe chaotic or fear-based or kind of tabloid-ish clickbait? Because then that will attract very dramatic clients and not in a good way. Right? Totally. That’s going to tend to attract people who are coming in there looking for a fight, looking for, you know, ‘maybe I’ll show up on her social media if I do this.’ So is that something that you’re putting out energetically? Is it a lack of professional boundaries, like Tara was saying? Is it a case where you’ve allowed a person to cross the boundary because you didn’t have that established? Or is it something that there could have been clarification or a boundary set in a policy that is part of your intake form, or your website policy that they read, and they check a box, and they sign, or they have to agree to it before they book?

Well, that’s an excellent point.

Yeah. These are things that can be prevented.

Well, I think that, many people have been in the industry for a long time without a policy. And lack of policy also creates a lack of professionalism in your business in a way that allows clients or new people to create their own space over you.  Cancellation policies are a big one. I have a very strict cancellation policy, and I have wonderful, wonderful, amazing clients that I have had for years that spend lots of money with me, which I value very much in my practice. And they all know that I still have to hold space for this policy because my schedule demands it. They know that it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with me, unfortunately, if you cancel at this point in time, then there will be a charge.

This allows you to have a professional relationship with them, because now you’re not resenting that client because you’re still recouping what you need. I remember once having a client who would come in and see me for something simple. I think it was brows. She would have to cancel all the time, last minute, “I’m stuck in a meeting, I’m this and that, and this and that, and this and that.’ And I would charge her every time. And then eventually, I know she was disappointed with the situation. And she said, ‘well, I just can’t control that.’ And I’m just like, ‘I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for my practice. I’m not mad at you that you had to cancel because I have a policy to protect that.’ So again, it’s focusing on your boundaries and your energy. That policy is a big one, I think. Um, and most aestheticians or people in practice don’t have that, but that is how you establish boundaries.

It’s setting clear expectations from the start before the relationship even begins. If you have an online practice only, you can still have an intake form built into your scheduling system that they have to read and agree to before they can even book a session. You also on your website can have a terms of use policy. You’re required to have a privacy policy. And you can also have a comment and review policy. If you have a blog, you can have a policy about what comments you’ll allow and which comments you will not. If you have a website where reviews are able to be posted by your customers, you can have a review policy that, you know, if the review meets these criteria, A, B, C, D, then it will stay. But then, this type of review is not allowed. Any review that is like this will be deleted. That’s up to you.

And that policy can also extend to your social media if you want. You can have a story highlight that explains your policy on posts, comments, on DMs, on sharing content. These are all things that you can post in visible places. And if people don’t choose to read them, that’s on them, that’s not on you. And you can say ‘that violates my policy,’ and then link to the policy period done. And then the problem is usually not going to happen again. At least not with that customer.

Yeah. Those things are great. I think a lot of people skip over a lot of that stuff, unfortunately, but, or they just don’t think about it. Lke you said, if someone is constantly dealing with this in their practice, I think that you should take a look at what’s going on. Maybe you need to seek a consultant, someone that can help you take a deeper look, or just set some fresh eyes on things. I think that if you’re struggling through some of those things, there might be some easy tweaks to do. And maybe it is policy, maybe someone needs to say to you, ‘you need to reframe how you’re marketing yourself so that people can see what you do differently.’ In my practice, you have to have a skin health consultation first with me, before I work with you in any capacity. I often get people that will stop by in my store, and want to come in and have a really nice relaxing facial. And I always say ‘well, you have to have a skin health consultation first.’ And sometimes they don’t want to do that. And I’m like, ‘okay. That’s just how my practice is. So I’m not mad that you don’t wanna see me because of that.’

Those defining terms aren’t, aren’t for everybody. But I think you have to have some defining terms that create that passage for the right person. If you have a schedule with a hundred different kinds of services and you’ve got a hundred different Groupons out there, and you’re constantly trying to give away your service, or you’re constantly in a state of need or want or lack, then that is what’s gonna happen for you.

You’re going to open the door for people that aren’t going to work with you energetically the way that you deserve. So you have to take a keener look at that and see what you’re attracting. That’s probably a great podcast for another time!

Absolutely! We’ll have to discuss that in an upcoming episode, but I think we covered a lot today. And I think the bottom line is when something happens that upsets you as a professional, just take a breath, take a pause, and also realize that you don’t have to respond right away.

You can just sit with it for a little while. Maybe ask advice from a colleague, or if you do work with a business coach or consultant and see how somebody else might handle it. And then take your time in crafting your response if a response is appropriate, or if it is something that should just be blocked, then by all means, block it. Okay. We’re not expected always to be available, like instantaneously if somebody sends in a review or leaves a review, we don’t have to respond that minute with whatever we’re feeling. It’s usually best to just take a beat and then think it through and respond accordingly or not at that point. Totally.

So with that, we will be back soon with another episode, but this was a great talk today, Tara.

Tara Swagger:

Yeah, definitely. Awesome.

Periodic bad customer reviews are just part of being in business.

It can feel like the world is ending, but it doesn’t have to be that way! With the right mindset and strategy, you can convert even the toughest critics into loyal fans. You can turn good intentions into great results, and how you manage negative feedback will determine your success or failure. We’re here to tell you just that – you CAN reclaim ownership of any negative review with grace and effectiveness.

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